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Idiomocracy

Short Tales by Jonathan Laden.
Updated every Sunday.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Stick it Where the Sun Don’t Shine 


In the hills of Southern Oklahoma, there was a black spot in the middle of an Oak grove. It was no wider than the width of a tall man’s stride, an imperfect circle on the face of the Earth, like a pox or a mump. Hovering around three degrees Kelvin, it supported no life, not even in its brown, fertile earth. Frogs had gone into hybernation beneath the loam before the sun stopped striking the spot; they were dead now. Even the gentle spring breeze shied away.
Doreen had stumbled upon the spot by accident, one bright afternoon much like this one. Crying had blurred her eyes so she almost stepped into it, but the hairs on her bruised arms had stood up and she’d thrown herself aside at the last possible moment. Rising, beating crinkly oak leaves off her skirt, she’d felt the weight of the injured world descend upon her shoulders. Then through the weight of tears, her eyes narrowed. She shrugged free.
Lonnie had never had it so good. Doreen brought him his beers, she cooked him grease pats just as he liked them without a fuss. When she brushed the hair back from her eyes and smiled, she almost looked pretty, he reckoned. She even came to him willingly, bending her lips to his satisfaction. He only slapped her the once, on her fleshy flank just because he liked the feel of her flesh on the pads of his fingers.
Then she stopped. “Come with me, honey,” she said, rubbing her sore jaw. “You ever done it in the woods, baby?.”
“Now why would I do a fool thing like that? Here is fine.” After, it would be about time he saw the boys. A game of pick-up was in order on a fine day like this one was turning out.
She laughed, like she had when they first dated. She ran out the door. “Try it, you’ll like it.”
“I’ll get you, Doreen!” He followed her through a narrow path between trees. “Come here, you.” He reached out for her, but she evaded his grasp. “Here we are. In nature. Are you satisfied? Let’s us finish what we started.” He put on a final sprint to catch that filly, and make her pay.
Doreen jumped to the side.
Lonnie flew past. The first thing he felt was an unnatural chill. The rush of moisture escaping his body ripped at his skin. He screamed as his eyes popped free. “Why?” he managed a garbled cry.
Doreen stood staring long after Lonnie was an unrecognizable spot. She bit her lower lip. When the tears began, she honestly didn’t know whether they were for joy or sorrow.

posted by jonathan  # 6:54 AM

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